Tips for Living Far From Home

Recently, a commenter on my blog asked if I had any tips for living far from home/family. Hmmm. I guess I can offer some, though I am certainly not a perfect role model. Here they are, in random order. (Some of this may apply to culture shock rather than living far from family.)



1. Find people who are like-minded where you live and begin to consider them 'family.' (Spend holidays with them, drive them to the hospital when they are sick, do everything for them and with them that you would for your real family.)

2. Search for the positives (this is hard at times). Desire to see how God has blessed you in this far-from-home place.

3. Vonage. We have a US phone line. I'll never forget the first time we plugged it in, and I heard a real US dial tone. It does help.

4. Talk to your kids about the relatives far away.

5. Realize the grass is not greener. (It's so easy to think if I just lived "there," all of this would be better. It's not true. Problems, heartache, stress are all "there," too.)

6. Remember God is here. This is perhaps the most important message I have sensed from God in my years in this country.

7. Find friends who are godly and who sharpen, understand, and encourage you.

8. Enjoy the occasional perk from home (like a care package with m-and-m's), but don't pine for those things all the time. It will only frustrate you.

9. Don't expect "here" to be like "there," but appreciate those little ways that God gives you reminders of home.

10. Go home when you can. It's worth the jetlag and the money.

11. Don't be jealous of those who do have family close by for all the big events (again, this can be hard). Just realize that is not what God has for you right now, and look forward to the time you will get to see them.

12. Allow yourself/spouse/kids to have an occasional day to just greatly dislike where they are. Listen, encourage, then help them move on. His mercies are new every morning.

13. Find a good church and be involved. We have two churches to choose from in our city of millions. When we came here, it wasn't about our church being a perfect fit for us, it was about finding family.

14. Make the most of your time with your family when you visit them or they visit you. I may drive my mama crazy in the summers at her house, but she never makes me feel like a burden. I always tell my family I love them, and I've determined not to waste the time I have with them with anything petty.

15. Realize you may always cry at the airport. I've said goodbye now for 14 years, and I've never not cried.

A Couple of Special Days

I don't always remember to give shout-outs on birthdays, etc., but I determined today was a day to do it...too many specials today!

Soooo,
Happy Anniversary to my great sister-and-brother-in-law! I am thankful for you both.
And tomorrow...a big happy birthday to my sweet niece (left).

And a big happy birthday today to my nephew (left).

And a big (shared) happy birthday to my sister-in-law. Though I did not invite you to my 9th grade sleepover, I have always regretted that, especially now that we are family. And may you get to eat all your Chinese food without sharing.

Happily In My Bubble

Though we live in the Middle East, we do live in a sort of bubble, and I live in this bubble very happily. The school, by God's grace, has been protected all these years, and has given us such a good life. We are surrounded by people we love and who love us and we are safe (at least right now).

Just this past week, while CC was still in America, I realized I needed to get Sweet Cheeks after school, as her sisters were in an after-school activity and could not walk her home. I called the office and said, "Send her on home. I'll meet her." And so, my five-year-old began to walk home...down a city street, by herself. Prior to meeting up with her, as I watched her walk alone, I heard in the background the call to prayer at our local mosque. At that moment, it was as if God gave me a gentle reminder that I have it really, really good here. My daughter, at five years old, can walk home in this place safely.

And even our school is in sort of a bubble, and I like our bubble. An example of this was this past weekend. It was our "prom," which we call, "The Winter Ball." With the help of some teachers, the secondary kids plan a theme and decorate the atruim of our school (and the cafeteria becomes a little cafe) for a dance. This year's theme was "A Night At Times Square." The week before the dance, they all meet up to learn how to dance...fun, wholesome dances like swing dances and line dances. And then they all dress up fancy and look adorable and dance with each other. The high school guys dance with their literature teacher. They ask all the girls, not just the one with whom they came. If a girl seems to have been waiting a little too long to be asked, she'll grab another girl and dance with her. They do ask friends from outside our school to attend, but it is well-known what kind of prom we have. The music is fun and lively, and not trashy. CC and I popped in to see the kids and how they had it decorated, and it just struck me again how nice it is to have this wholesome environment. How nice that the biggest worry is whether the slideshow will work, not whether someone has brought drugs. At our prom, parents come and hug the necks of the kids and tell them how wonderful they look, then of course leave! But they are still welcome to come.
It seems to me it is just the way it should be.

And, since it is for 7th-12th grades, CC had a big dose of reality when Firstborn said, "Next year it will be me, Papa!" (He's thought of changing it to 9th-12th grade only at that point!)

Things That Say "You Are Loved"

When Papa comes back, there are always goodies to be found in the luggage. I sent him a Wal-Mart list...bacon, cheddar cheese, mascara, sea monkeys (yes, you read that right), Nyquil, and all the other random things I feel like I can't live without until mid-June. But also, there are always some surprises. This year, the Campbell Clan-grands sent back a Valentine for each Campbell Clanskid with a $5 bill inside. I think that quadrupled Sweet Cheeks' money supply. They also sent the "SS Benaiah," a handcrafted- really-floats-and-propels tugboat for Big Ben. It's amazing, a treasure he can always say his Grandad made for him. Aunts Boo always sends the latest-whatever-the-kids-in-America-have-that-we-know-nothing-about stuff. Last year it was Silly Bandz. This year we got rubber watches. It tends to propel us to celebrity status here at school!



Aunt C and cousins sent us all Valentines and notes, a fun box for planning a Christmas party next year, and of course, candy. (The candy canes are even flavors like Nerds and Tootsie Roll.) The Fish grands sent CC and me sweaters and the kids these oh-so-soft jammies.

We also got sweet packages from Home Office folks...candy, perfume, all kinds of goodies!
We feel loved!

Back To a Two Parent Home

I haven't blogged much this week. My husband returned yesterday afternoon. With God's help, the two weeks he was gone went well. I felt like I was able to take good care of the kids. Meltdowns were avoided, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were consumed, and routines were maintained. Still, I am so happy he is home. But suddenly, about 4 hours after he stepped off that airplane, I...am...so...tired. I feel like my tour of duty ended, and it is time for some sleep. It's only 8PM here, and I can hardly keep my eyes open!

Kosovo!

Happy Birthday, Kosovo! It is that time of year again! The Embassy of Kosovo invited CC and me to their independence day celebration party at the Hilton Hotel. CC is still in the USA, so I planned to go to represent our family. Then we got a note from the Ambassador's wife asking if Miss Middler and Sweet Cheeks could go, too, as guests of their daughters. Dress in a fancy dress? Stay up past bedtime? Eat fancy food and drink out of fancy cups? Sure, they'll go! Here is a picture of the four-some.

The minute my girls came in and hooked up with their buddies, the cameras started flashing. In a fancy hotel adult party, these four cuties stood out! Soon, they had filled their plates with delicious foods.

For the hour we were there, they hid from the paparazzi, examined and ohhed/ahhed over each others' necklaces and dresses, filled their plates with foods, tried on a Kosovo Army Captain's hat while he wasn't watching, took who knows how many juices from the roving drink servers, and played toilet tag. (This is a new game to me, but I've recently been introduced. It seems when you are tagged, you freeze. When you are un-tagged by someone pressing your flush button, you have to swirl down, then you are free to go.) We made quite a show of ourselves, for sure. But hey, when you are four kids in a room full of adults, and they all think you are wonderful, you may as well live it out to the fullest! It's still shocking to me, sometimes, where I am and what I get to do. I really thought I'd be living in a hut in the mountains of Mexico when I grew up...

Flashback to the 1920's

Our high school is doing the play "Cheaper By The Dozen," set in the 1920's. This year the drama teacher opened two roles to elementary students, and my girls wanted to try out. We had all the "talks." You know the ones...there are MANY kids trying out, not everyone gets a part. It will be a good experience to try out, but please don't be too disappointed if you don't make the play. All those. But I was very proud of them for the initiative to sign up, practice, stand in front of peers and (horrors!) high school students, and try out. The best part was that the drama teacher encouraged them to rummage through their own clothes and come up with some type of 1920's interpretive costume. Oh, we had fun! Aren't they adorable? I really think we hit the 1940's mostly, but we were supposed to use only what we had at home. This picture makes me think of my grandparents and how proud they would be of my kids.

The Turks of course did not try out, but pranced right up the fireplace to have their photo made, too. What could I say? In spite of not auditioning, Big Ben got a role! (The teacher called and asked if he could be the littlest one of the dozen, just in one scene. I said, "Sure, you'll just need food, and he'll do anything you want.") Won't he look cute in knickers?

The morning of the cast list posting, I drove them to school and sat in the car with arms ready to hug...both those that got a part and those that didn't. They were given strict instructions to go check the list and come straight back to me, no matter what it said. At the audition, the drama teacher suggested Firstborn read for an older role, as she is clearing about 5'4" now. She got a role as a school girl in a soda shop. ("MOM! I have to FLIRT with boys in the scene, what am I going to do?!") And Twinkle Toes landed the role of the second-to-last of the dozen children. Miss Middler did not get a role, but received a big hug and a promise that I was very proud of her and this just meant lots of extra alone time at home for the two of us. She handled it beautifully.

And so, this week we start rehearsals!